Pride is like an apple seed

I eat a lot of granny smith apples. When they’re in season, I average at least two a day, sometimes three. Crunchy, delicious, tart and slightly sweet, granny smiths are almost perfect. Like the Indians, full of respect for the buffalo, and eating every part, I’ve taken to eating the entire wonderful apple. “The core is edible!” I’d gush, “And the seeds taste like vanilla!” (Very true, by the way).

Honestly and secretly, I was proud of my apple addiction, my healthy eating habits and my green inclinations. “I’m so responsible” the insidious, prideful Self would whisper, “so environmentally aware, and so healthy.” And so I smiled as I swallowed the seeds.

Some time after I began this apple obsession, I was telling a friend about the glories of grannies and the greatness of the seeds like an addict, trying to convince him to try one, when I was interrupted. “You know those are poisonous,” thundered the voice of harsh truth.

Now, I have a tendency toward naivete and people love to exacerbate this trait by frequently telling me untrue things to see me astoundingly believe. I was not to be fooled this time. “No, they’re not, I protested.” Then, these amazing words rushed out of my seed-consuming mouth, “Nothing from nature is poisonous.” Wrong. Into the Wild, anyone?

Sure enough, according to this new thing called the world wide web, apple seeds contain cynaide. One website claims, “Apple seeds contain cyanogenic acids…Symptoms of mild poisoning include headache, dizziness, confusion, anxiety, and vomiting. Larger doses can lead to difficulty breathing, increased blood pressure and heart rate, and kidney failure.” Another site declares ominously, “There are not enough seeds in one apple to kill, but it is absolutely possible to eat enough to die.” Great.

It occurred to me that apple seeds are much like my pride. It starts with a small satisfaction and my own self-righteousness, accompanied by a faint sweetness like vanilla. But there’s poison in those seeds and in my prideful thoughts. Both lead to death.