Today, December 20

Today was supposed to be a Day Of Christmas Cheer. I had the day off and was going to drink peppermint coffee, relax, and enjoy the simple pleasures of the season.

But soon the morning found me, fuming, crying, and marching in the pouring, cold rain to retrieve my car which had been towed by the vindictive and heartless Vanderbilt Traffic and Parking. How's that for cheer?

The day improved, though I still have that headache I always get whenever I cry.

I popped some popcorn on the stove and went to the historic Belcourt Theater, where a few friends and I enjoyed Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire in Holiday Inn. I baked Christmas cookies and am now heading to sing Christmas carols with the sweet community I get to call brothers and sisters. Tonight I will be celebrating "Roommate Christmas" with an abundance of gifts and Italian food.

It just struck me that the beauty of Christmas is displayed today not by the seasonal things I love, not in the singing or peppermint or classic movie.

I prayed as I walked over to retrieve my sad little Volvo--prayed that I would calm down, that I would have compassion for the officers, that I would be forgiven for my rude anger. I prayed that God would be with me.

And that, dear friends, was the beauty of Christmas. That was the unspeakable mystery of Christmas coming into my hard heart. Emmanuel. Jesus, help me, forgive me, be with me.